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Orgasm is a physical reflex, usually a pleasurable one, when the muscles that were tightened during sexual arousal relax and the body returns to its pre-arousal state. During sexual arousal there is increased blood flow to the genitals and tensing of muscles throughout the body and particularly in the genitals. Orgasm reverses this process through a series of rhythmic contractions. For women, contractions occur in the lower part of the vagina, in the uterus, anus, and pelvic floor. About 10 percent of women also ejaculate fluid from the urethra at orgasm.
Symptoms of Orgasm
Where the physical contractions of orgasm occur and what particular sensations you experience are two different things. Each person has a unique experience of orgasm but common experiences include changes in breathing, a feeling of warmth, sweating, body vibrations, altered consciousness, or an urge to moan or cry out. During orgasm, endorphins are released into the bloodstream and these chemicals might make you feel happy, giddy, flushed, warm or sleepy.
The clitoris has a central role in the rising feelings of sexual tension which reach their peak in an orgasm. During arousal, the clitoris swells and changes position. The blood vessels throughout the pelvic area also swell, causing engorgement and creating a feeling of fullness and sexual sensitivity. You or your partner can stimulate your clitoris in a number of different ways — by rubbing, sucking, body pressure, using a vibrator. Although some women touch the glans of the clitoris to become aroused, for others it can be so sensitive that direct touching is uncomfortable or painful, even with lubrication. Also, focusing directly on the clitoris for a long time may cause the pleasurable sensations to disappear.
If it appeals to you, oral sex can be one of the most effective ways for women to reach orgasm. Having your partner use their mouth and tongue to stimulate the vulva in general and the clitoris in particular can be very arousing and can help you to orgasm. The sensitivity of your vulva and clitoris will determine what type of oral stimulation you enjoy and are most responsive to, so there is no one approach that works for everyone and new partners will need to learn about each other’s bodies and preferences.
Your clitoris can also be stimulated during vaginal intercourse when the clitoris is rubbed against the partner’s pubic bone, which can be easiest if you are on top. Leaning forward and down a little can help you get in the right position to experience this. If your partner is on top they can position themselves high enough so that their pubic bone presses against your clitoral area. You or your partner can also stimulate your clitoris with fingers or a vibrator during vaginal intercourse to help bring you to orgasm.
For some women, the outer third of their vagina is also very sensitive. When this area is stimulated during intercourse or other vaginal penetration, some women will experience orgasm without clitoral stimulation.
Some things you and your partner might try to help you reach orgasm:
Ejaculation with orgasm is much more common in men than in women. Most of the time, a man will have an orgasm at the same time he ejaculates, but occasionally men have an orgasm without ejaculating, or ejaculate without having an orgasm. About 10 percent of women ejaculate —a clear fluid spurts from the urethra during intense sexual excitement or during orgasm. This fluid isn’t urine. Instead it is very like the fluid (found in semen) produced by the prostate gland in men. In women this fluid comes from the Skene’s glands in the wall of the urethra.
You may have heard that it takes a lot longer for women to reach orgasm than it does for men. This is not entirely true. During masturbation, women and men reach orgasm in very similar amounts of time. On average, women reach orgasm in a little less than four minutes. For men the average time is between two and three minutes. The difference in the time it takes women and men to reach orgasm during foreplay and vaginal intercourse is greater. On average, it takes women 10-20 minutes to reach orgasm. Men reach orgasm after 7-14 minutes overall, but average two to three minutes after beginning intercourse.
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Orgasm is a physical reflex, usually a pleasurable one, when the muscles that were tightened during sexual arousal relax and the body returns to its pre-arousal state. During sexual arousal there is increased blood flow to the genitals and tensing of muscles throughout the body and particularly in the genitals. Orgasm reverses this process through a series of rhythmic contractions. For women, contractions occur in the lower part of the vagina, in the uterus, anus, and pelvic floor. About 10 percent of women also ejaculate fluid from the urethra at orgasm.
Symptoms of Orgasm
Where the physical contractions of orgasm occur and what particular sensations you experience are two different things. Each person has a unique experience of orgasm but common experiences include changes in breathing, a feeling of warmth, sweating, body vibrations, altered consciousness, or an urge to moan or cry out. During orgasm, endorphins are released into the bloodstream and these chemicals might make you feel happy, giddy, flushed, warm or sleepy.
How can be reached orgasm with a partner?
Most women experience orgasm through clitoral stimulation rather than through vaginal penetration. So if you are having difficulty reaching orgasm with a partner, try clitoral stimulation during, before, or after vaginal intercourse or oral sex. Masturbation can also be an important step in learning to be orgasmic with a partner. Once you have discovered what type of touch and stimulation you enjoy, you will be better able to give your partner(s) helpful directions.The clitoris has a central role in the rising feelings of sexual tension which reach their peak in an orgasm. During arousal, the clitoris swells and changes position. The blood vessels throughout the pelvic area also swell, causing engorgement and creating a feeling of fullness and sexual sensitivity. You or your partner can stimulate your clitoris in a number of different ways — by rubbing, sucking, body pressure, using a vibrator. Although some women touch the glans of the clitoris to become aroused, for others it can be so sensitive that direct touching is uncomfortable or painful, even with lubrication. Also, focusing directly on the clitoris for a long time may cause the pleasurable sensations to disappear.
If it appeals to you, oral sex can be one of the most effective ways for women to reach orgasm. Having your partner use their mouth and tongue to stimulate the vulva in general and the clitoris in particular can be very arousing and can help you to orgasm. The sensitivity of your vulva and clitoris will determine what type of oral stimulation you enjoy and are most responsive to, so there is no one approach that works for everyone and new partners will need to learn about each other’s bodies and preferences.
Your clitoris can also be stimulated during vaginal intercourse when the clitoris is rubbed against the partner’s pubic bone, which can be easiest if you are on top. Leaning forward and down a little can help you get in the right position to experience this. If your partner is on top they can position themselves high enough so that their pubic bone presses against your clitoral area. You or your partner can also stimulate your clitoris with fingers or a vibrator during vaginal intercourse to help bring you to orgasm.
For some women, the outer third of their vagina is also very sensitive. When this area is stimulated during intercourse or other vaginal penetration, some women will experience orgasm without clitoral stimulation.
Some things you and your partner might try to help you reach orgasm:
- Focus on touching, kissing, and caressing each other to heighten arousal.
- Experiment with various positions, particularly those that stimulate the clitoris, and with manual and oral stimulation of your vulva and clitoris.
- Relax and take it slow.
- Talk with each other about what feels good and how you both like to be touched.
Are men’s and women’s orgasms the same?
The physical process is actually pretty similar. For both men and women, an orgasm produces rapid muscle contractions usually in the genital and anal area and sometimes throughout the body. These contractions, in the sexual and reproductive organs, the muscles of the pelvic floor, and the anus occur at the very same intervals (0.8 seconds) for both women and men. Men average four to six orgasmic contractions. Women average six to ten.Ejaculation with orgasm is much more common in men than in women. Most of the time, a man will have an orgasm at the same time he ejaculates, but occasionally men have an orgasm without ejaculating, or ejaculate without having an orgasm. About 10 percent of women ejaculate —a clear fluid spurts from the urethra during intense sexual excitement or during orgasm. This fluid isn’t urine. Instead it is very like the fluid (found in semen) produced by the prostate gland in men. In women this fluid comes from the Skene’s glands in the wall of the urethra.
You may have heard that it takes a lot longer for women to reach orgasm than it does for men. This is not entirely true. During masturbation, women and men reach orgasm in very similar amounts of time. On average, women reach orgasm in a little less than four minutes. For men the average time is between two and three minutes. The difference in the time it takes women and men to reach orgasm during foreplay and vaginal intercourse is greater. On average, it takes women 10-20 minutes to reach orgasm. Men reach orgasm after 7-14 minutes overall, but average two to three minutes after beginning intercourse.
What are Kegel exercises?
Kegel exercises were developed by Dr. Arnold Kegel to help women strengthen their pelvic muscles. These exercises can help increase the intensity of your orgasms.- When you're peeing, clench your muscles to stop the flow of urine for about four seconds. Then release those same muscles to let the urine flow again. These are your pelvic floor muscles; these are the muscles you'll be exercising when you do Kegels. If you want to check and make sure that you're using the right muscles, put a finger or two into your vagina. Tighten the muscles. If you can feel your fingers being squeezed (even just a little), then you've located the right muscles.
- Contract the pelvic muscles hard for one second and then release them, ten times in a row. Repeat this process five to ten times a day.
- You can vary the exercise by holding the contraction for a count of three and then releasing it, doing fast short holds, or a mix of long and short holds.
- Kegel during commercials, every time the phone rings, in line at the Ratty—find your own regular pattern.
- Kegel during sex for added pleasure for you and your partner.
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